Kissing can be a very intimate and passionate act of love if done with the right person. It’s a way of communicating feelings of true love. Narcissists are known to lack empathy and they fake their emotions to advance their agenda. Without empathy, they can’t truly connect and love. Everything they do is calculated and engineered. When a narcissist kisses, it can be just a show to get someone to fall for them. You might have felt that the narcissist is very robotic in their intimacy. It doesn’t feel natural. It feels forced and fabricated.
Everything about the narcissist is faked. They don’t like to show their true feelings and intentions; Narcissists have a deep fear of intimacy since they were kids. They didn’t grow up in a nurturing environment. They were abused as children so they don’t trust people enough. Narcissists also want to maintain a façade because that’s how they keep their image and reputation. Without their façade, they feel exposed and naked. So, they never truly open up to people. They know that people won’t like it if they show their true color. They are deeply ashamed of who they are so they fabricate a new persona and keep the real one tucked deep inside their psyche.
In general, intimacy and sex with a narcissist is never fulfilling because it’s all about them. They make sure that their needs are met and they never think about their partners.
So, do narcissists enjoy kissing? Do narcissists even like sex? What about Sexting?
In this article we will answer all these questions. But for now, the short answer is yes they love it, especially at the first phase of the relationship where they rush intimacy, but you need to understand that they are incapable of true intimacy. It’s all about them, so the partner might feel left unfulfilled and empty.
Narcissists Lack of empathy
Narcissists always have shallow, fabricated feelings. They can’t feel for others when they are in pain. They can’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes. They won’t be able to feel much love for their victims. They DO know what you are supposed to feel, that’s why they are able to fake it so well.
Narcissists know that kissing is part of an intimate relationship so they have no problem faking it. Whitout empathy, every act of love including kissing is just a charade. When a narcissist kisses you and tells you that they love you, what they are actually saying is that they like you just like they like an object. A narcissist loves you like they love their car, for example. They view people as objects to use and to own.
Narcissists Fear of intimacy and long term commitment
A narcissist usually rushes into the intimate relationship and you would feel the spark quite easily but they are just trying to win you over by any means necessary. So, if they know you love kissing they have no problem faking intimacy. Narcissists view their partners as perfect at the start of the relationship then they become bored. That’s when a narcissist’s fear of intimacy shines. They never wanted a long term commitment with you. They fear intimacy because they can’t regulate their emotions well. They have an emotion capacity of a child. When a child gets bored easily, they will throw away their toy. That’s what can happen when a narcissist discards you after a while. After they got what they want. And narcissists love cheating; they love one-night stands. They don’t want to be tied down. They think they deserve what they desire and they feel entitled to have many relationships at once if that’s what it takes to fulfill their needs.
Do Narcissists Kiss With Eyes Open?
There’s no official study on this but some people report that their narcissist kisses with their eyes open. This can have many reasons. The narcissist is not fully in the moment. They are not present. They might be somewhere else, thinking about other things. Kissing doesn’t serve them at the moment. They already have the victim so why fake it anymore? Since narcissists fake intimacy, they are bound to slip and do something wrong. Narcissists are afraid of intimacy and they don’t trust people that much. Kissing is an intimate thing emotionally and physically and they just don’t feel it. They might not love you enough even after all these years. They are sick and tired of all the faking and acting.
The Narcissist and Sex
The narcissist can have grandiose ideas about their sexuality, it’s all power to them so they try to manipulate and control their sexual partners. The narcissist might tell you that he is the best sex partner you have ever had which is not true most of the time. Sex with a narcissist can be very ordinary and boring. It can be very unfulfilling and it will leave you feeling empty and exploited.
The narcissist can’t just be at one with you. They can’t let their guard down and let someone in into their most vulnerable space. Their ego gets in the way of a truly intimate act of love. To narcissists, sex just another way to control others.
The Two Types of Narcissists and Sex
There are two types of narcissists: Somatic (Obsessed with their bodies) And Cerebral (obsessed with their brains and intellect).
The somatic narcissist flaunts his body, brags about his sexual conquests and uses sex as a tool to control his victims. They can be obsessed with their “performance” and would often ask their mate if they did well or not. They are obsessed with themselves and only want to get their needs met but at the same time they want to be best at sex. Sex with them can be like masturbation for the narcissist. Somatic narcissists can be sex addicts and they may have many sexual partners at once. You can imagine why they would be the cheater type.
On the other hand, the cerebral narcissists are obsessed with their brains. They want to show off their intellect and knowledge. They might focus on their academic career too much. This type of narcissists can be celibate even if they have girlfriends because they think sex is too intimate and too comfortable for them, they rather masturbate.
Narcissists and Sexting
Sexting allows the narcissist to lie about their true feelings. They don’t have to fake anything they just have to write it on the go. It’s also less time consuming than real sex and way less intimate. They might be busy with other things in their life but they still want to have control over their partner.
Sexting can also be a way to start a relationship online using dating sites. A narcissist might be addicted to it because they can easily do it and have multiple partners lined up. Sexting can also be hot for a narcissist because they can do it anytime even at a meeting!
Narcissists Withholding Intimacy
This can be a form of punishment. When things don’t go their ways and their partners don’t obey them, narcissists love to punish. They view people as children to punish and objects to gain and the punishment can be so severe because of their lack of empathy. Narcissists know that sex is a big part of an intimate relationship and they can use it or lack of thereof as a weapon at their disposal.
How Narcissists’ sex-drive changes
At the start of the relationship with narcissists things can be so hot because they love to rush a relationship as an act of love-bombing. They will treat you right because they know what buttons to push to get you to fall for them quickly. They will be so close and intimate with you and they would shower you with gifts.
After this honeymoon period, the narcissist changes. They don’t have to chase you anymore. They think they own you know. That’s why they don’t try hard anymore. This is where your sex life with a narcissist might suffer. They would lose interest in you and sex would become boring and mechanical. It would feel like they only go through the motions without any feelings. They don’t bother to fake it anymore.
If you have been with a narcissist for a long time, the end result might be a completely sexless marriage.