Narcissistic Mirroring – a Huge Red Flag

Narcissistic Mirroring – a Huge Red Flag


Narcissists are empty inside. A narcissist doesn’t have a true sense of self.  They have unstable self-images depending on the situation. They don’t know who they are. They don’t know what they want. They just have a void that they want to impulsively fill using materialistic gains.  

That’s why they always change their personality depending on the situation especially at the love-bombing phase. As you start dating them, you would be surprised to find that they are very similar to you. They have the same interests, same hobbies, same lifestyle and they want the same thing out of the relationship. They are mirroring you. They don’t have a solid emotional foundation to build a long-standing personality on. So, they mimic your personality, your speech patterns your sense of style, etc. This mirroring act is found in many toxic type of personalities like psychopaths too. They are chameleons; you can never see their true colors. In fact, they don’t have one. If the narcissist doesn’t base his personality on someone else’s, they won’t have a personality! They are incredibly empty and all they have is a bunch of mind games.

The narcissist’s upbringing was a tough one. They didn’t receive the care and attention they needed to thrive. Or they were patted on the back too much. The core issue is that they didn’t receive consistent love from their parents so they grew up deeply broken without a sound personality structure. So they look for personas and wear a lot of masks. Their masks are always reflecting what you desire them to be.

Narcissists mimic human emotions

Narcissists have shallow emotions. They can’t feel deep emotions besides anger, fear, sadness and happiness. If you ask what they are feeling they will pick one of these very basic emotions. They have an emotional capacity of a child. No wonder they can’t understand what you must be feeling. They also lack empathy and a conscious which makes them unable to love or deeply connect with people.

Mimicking your interests and life style

In the love bombing phase, they are truly mirroring you. It’s like an identity theft. They are depending on you to provide them with a personality. They want to impress you real bad so they will be whatever you want them to be!

Narcissists are like parrots or copy-cats and they keep shuffling identities not only in their romantic relationships but also in social and work life. If their boss wants them to be someone else they are happy to do it. If they are trying to climb the ladder, they will fake interest in everything that can get them to the top. You will find the narcissist having new hobbies every day because that’s what their friends or confidants want.

Mirroring and Looking For Trust

Imitation is the best form of flattery. Narcissistic mirroring is an easy and cheap way to gain a person’s trust. If a person finds that you are basically the same as them, and you share the same values and qualities, they are bound to trust you quickly and like you. And narcissists are always looking for people who like and respect them. They live for the positive attention that they can get from people. They want to have a circle of admirers.

Mirroring an Empath

Opposites attract .Narcissists target Empaths a lot of the time because Empaths have a lot to give, they are very compassionate human beings.

You would think that the narcissist won’t try to fake what they lack most: Empathy. But one of the most disgusting things about a narcissist is that they often try to mirror an empath to get them to fall for them. Even though they lack empathy, a narcissist can fake it if needed. They might tell the empath about all the charity work they do and even go with them to charity events and spend money on the cause. They will lie about all the volunteering work that they did and are planning to do.


Discarding – When the Masks Fall

Narcissists go through a pattern in their relationships: idealization, devaluation and discard. It might be too late to see this Red Flag at the start of the relationship unless you are well educated about it. But, the flag is waving in sight at the discard phase. All the masks are dropped and you find an ugly personality. You find a hollow. An adult that didn’t develop a healthy personality. You can’t believe how you fell in love with such a fake persona. You fell in love with a façade. They aren’t as you thought they were. The narcissist is the ultimate Love Fraud. This can come as a shock to you if you are not knowledgeable about narcissism and narcissists but you have to understand that you weren’t an easy target. You weren’t played because you are weak but actually, you were targeted because you had so many good traits that the narcissist envies and tries to mirror. You fell in love with yourself.

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