When a Narcissist Loses Everything

When a Narcissist Loses Everything

The narcissist knows he can lose everything at any moment. He knows his disordered personality is bound to push people away. He can lose his marriage by cheating on his wife. He can lose his house or properties by being irresponsible when it comes to money. He can lose everything in a divorce. He can lose power and control that he thrives for. In the back of his mind, the narcissist knows everything is temporary and as fragile as his masks. Instead of trying to build a healthy lifestyle, the narcissist hops from one relationship to another. He moves from one house to another without feeling the need to be attached. He changes jobs due to boredom or being fired. Narcissists don’t have the capacity to settle down and live with their family for the rest of their lives. This lack of attachment stems from their lack of empathy. They don’t have the emotional capacity for it.
This nomad lifestyle can mean they can lose everything and start from zero again and again. That’s why they keep hoarding narcissistic supply to stay afloat during their journey in life. They expect their bubble to burst any time. This can lead to great stress, depression and even suicidal behavior. A narcissist losing his supply is like a drug addict losing his source. He will do anything to get his fix and stop the inner turmoil.

When a Narcissist Loses Power and Control

Narcissists have a need to have power and control over others. They have a strong desire for it. They feel entitled to do it. They were powerless as children so they try to make up for it when they are adults. Narcissists didn’t grow up in a stable and healthy environment. They were either ignored when children or they were put on a pedestal. They weren’t treated in a consistent manner. So, when they grow up they want to lay down structure for everything around them. They become control freaks. They want to be in a position of power to have a say on how things go. And seeing others in a position of power makes them very jealous. When they lose control they become enraged. It might be a promotion that didn’t happen or a secure job they got fired from. They feel out of control and lost. They try to secure another source of narcissistic supply or they go crazy. They will try to have control over your life and your friends. If the narcissist is in a relationship, he wants control by being the one to provide for the family so if his spouse earns more, it creates unbalance in the power dynamics which can drive the narcissist crazy. He would be so jealous he would create fights out of nothing until the relationship is over or he restores his position of power. That’s how the narcissist thinks and acts. He needs power and control to feel alive.

When a Narcissist Loses Secondary Supply

Narcissists always try to have Secondary Supply lined up as a backup plan for when things go out of control. That’s why they are not satisfied with one romantic partner. They have backup potential partners. They are cheaters because of this. It’s all a sick game for them. They don’t get emotionally attached to their supply. It’s just an object for them to use and control. They are also disloyal friends who will switch sides on a whim. A narcissist is always too busy for you because he is putting himself out there to connect with potential supply sources. That’s why they are so social and they try to work their charm all the time.

If the narcissist lost all secondary supply he will come back to you begging for forgiveness and showering you with gifts to make you stick around. So when a narcissist has a secondary supply he pushes you away and when they lose that supply they come back to you declaring their love. This can create a very toxic cycle because they do it in a way resembling Intermittent Reinforcement which is the reason you got addicted to narcissists. They use Trauma Bonding to hook you on the good chemicals in your brain when things are going well, and when things are going bad, it’s hard to break free from the relationship because you are addicted to these feel good chemicals you are waiting for it to happen again.

Narcissists Losing Their Primary Supply

This is one step closer to losing it all. The main supply importance is that it’s the majority of positive reinforcement the narcissist gets. The majority of attention and adoration usually comes from a spouse or a high paying job or a life style then need to keep up with. The narcissist made so much effort and spent too much time securing this very important source of supply. Losing this primary supply source means that they lose part of their identity. And the narcissist has very little personality or internal identity they don’t know who they are so they form their identity based on what they do and what they own.  When those are lost they lose their identity because their core psyche is fragile it makes them feel very lost and disoriented and they freak out.

The Narcissist’s Frantic Efforts to Make You Stay

Narcissists and borderline (BPD) people have this as a symptom of their disorder. They fear that you will leave them anytime so they want reassurance all the time. They feel they are not worthy of love. They need people to remind them of it every day. When a narcissist feels like you are beginning to slip away and they start to lose control over you, they can make frantic efforts to make you stay. These efforts can be so extreme. These efforts are nothing more than a method to secure their soon to be lost narcissistic supply. They can be over the top and ridiculous. The narcissist might love-bomb you again. They will shower you with gifts and attention. They will declare their love to you and make you feel like the center of their world. This feels like a second honeymoon which can be intoxicating but you have to realize that after they know you are not going anyway, they will treat you bad again. The toxic relationship will continue forever as they never change. They change for a little bit of time just to fool you again. The relationship keeps swinging forever from bad to worse.

When a narcissist loses supply, he will usually hoover old relationships to try to suck them back into his web of control and deceit.

Narcissists Losing Power Naturally By Aging

The aging narcissist is a sad human being. They have lost it all. Their looks, their charm, and their strong bodies they used to flaunt. It’s all gone. They are facing the inevitable death. They are not the everlasting gods they thought they were.

Research shows that narcissists are known to lose popularity over time so it’s all inevitable. They will lose friends and they will fall from grace quickly.

The Aftermath

The fallen narcissist is bound to feel deep shame. There is a huge gap now between their ideal imagined life and the real life. They can’t stand living like this. They can’t handle being ordinary just like everyone else. They are not special like they thought they were. The aftermath is that they become very depressed when they can’t secure narcissistic supply anymore. This depression can be severe it will affect every part of their life. It will make it hard to sleep, hard to eat and even hard to physically move. They might even become suicidal at one point. This is just karma catching up to them.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. TAR

    This is extremely sad. The narcissist (that I know) has kept me paying the large bills. He pretends to take responsibility over his large lifestyle purchases but actually ditches the more important ones, i.e., he buys an antique car but tricks me into paying the mortgage. If I cry foul, he calls various supply sources to say, “she’s at it again” as an excuse to go out and have their supply filled by that person. But I’m onto him. It’s not an us vs. them. They’re delusional. Sick. Manipulated while growing up by their sick parents and like you have said, they’re empty, and they know it. I’m praying for this guy.

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